Stories of Transformation
 
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By Pastor John Keller

(The following faith story was written by John Keller, St. Andrew’s Equipping Pastor.  John is leading a committee that is compiling 500 faith transformation stories during the next three years.  Submissions are encouraged from all St. Andrew’s members.  Send your story or thoughts here.  A member of the committee will follow-up with you.  Please email us also if  you’d like to join the committee.)

On a cold January afternoon in 1995, I received a frantic phone call from my mother.  She was at her local hospital in Washington state waiting to see my father after surgery.  The surgeon has just informed her that my father had pancreatic cancer and the prognosis was not good.  I tried to calm her as we talked, but 2,000 miles separated us and my voice was not enough.  After praying with her, I called my sister and brother who lived near my mother and they arranged for their immediate visit.  They reached out to her and our dad with love and compassion.
I visited my dad a couple of times before his death in May of 1995.  I was at his bed side when he breathed his last breath.  His death opened a whole new path for me – the path of grief.  I had read and studied grief as a pastor, but never experienced it as directly as with my father’s death.  I knew that such a journey should not be done alone, but I was again several thousand miles away from my mother and siblings. 

With the help of others at St. Andrew’s, we started a grief support group.  Together we learned how to express our grief, how to remember our loved ones, and how to cope with our sorrow and pain.  One night we laughed and cried as we shared all the “inappropriate” responses we had heard from friends and coworkers, such as “they are in a better place” or “God needed an angel.”  We listened to each other’s stories and prayed together.  Together, we discovered God’s amazing strength lifting and supporting us.

The grief group became the genesis of our continued grief ministry at St. Andrew’s.  In the fall of 1993, the group started the Lights of Hope service on All Saints Sunday.  At the service, we read the names and lit candles to remember any loved ones who had died.  The whole congregation was invited and more than 100 names were read.  The service continues today.  More grief groups were to follow with lay leadership from Candee Moser, Joanne Zehnder, Pam Nuffort, Marcia Dolezal and Cindy Orn.

Though I still miss my dad, I am so thankful for a community such as St. Andrew’s that recognizes the spiritual, emotional and relational character of grief and provides meaningful ministry to support our members.